BiLe CiK kIaH b’kate2….

as we still alive and still breathing, nobody can escape things called TROUBLES. leading our lives every single day, repeating the same routine while exploring something new in a time, we are being tested with so many obstacles and challenges. in the end, it’s either to win or to lose the battle.

i believe that everybody wishes to lead a happy life, pray for happiness, away from sadness. but as a human being, we have to taste both. i used to get down at the lowest part on my own knee. keep hoping that things will be okay. people thought i am happy as they see me smile and laugh but they never know how hard for a person to get herself smile when the tears keep falling down. and the only saviour of hers is The Almighty God.

at one time, someone feels so tired of everything but right til this time, at least, that someone still has the courage to move on. it might be so hard to get one’s happiness but there’s no reason why that someone has to stop while she is still able to try and try…seizing the opportunities and chances… make the days grow brighter…better than yesterday… to achieve something is not easy, so why bother to let go of everything because we scare of trying n waiting…??

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everybody keeps hoping the best in his or her life. however, in leading our way, there’s a time we’ve trapped in a dilemma asking us to choose and to make decision. this makes me wonder to the poem ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost. i think right until this moment, this poem means a lot. something precious tells us about life and things that we cannot escape.

how to get something without losing another thing? sounds greedy but in some way, i think there’s a way that we can try to achieve what we want without losing anything. appreciation is one thing that we shall never take for granted. heart comes from the name of ’sincererity’… desire is what we want to achieve. there’s a time when desire becomes so strong that makes us forget how to be sincere. we lost the ‘heart’.

i don’t want to mention such word called ’sacrifice’ because i hate that word so much. too many sacrifices bring me nowhere. at last, im the one who gets on my own knee, thinking how stupid i was. i want to achieve my desire, my dreams but never to lose my own ‘heart’. i don’t want to be a person without a feeling who would do anything to grab everything. success is worth more than that.

‘two roads’ diverged in a wood’…. ~and i take the one less travelled by~ still add a lot of meaning to my life… thanks to the poet… a very motivated piece of writing.

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sitting in front of my desk writing a post in this blog…hmm..something i miss so much. since the wireless in this school becomes haywire, there’s been such a long time i haven’t online and writing something in my column.

school is so tiring and quite pushing this lately, i guess. long school hours+ extra classes really stress me out. not that i am complaining but it’s like i don’t have time on my own. i don’t have time to relax my mind.  when it’s weekend, i need to attend extra classes n during school days, i also sometimes have to stay back for extra classes and also school’s meetings. when i am at home, i notice that this lately, i go to sleep earlier. sometimes, i don’t have enough time tp prepare for my lesson because my brain is so tired and it is already overload.

perhaps this is the nature of my job.. so many sacrifices.. huhu… especially time, energy n money…….. hmmmmm…i need a break! nk pegi jalan2 laaaa…. uuuuuu….

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everybody deserves to dream.. deserves to make a wish.. deserves to ask for something. but to get what we dream, what we wish n what we ask for is somehow not that easy.

when sorry doesn’t mean or change anything. when words are only words n nvr get things better. when speech nvr comes appropriate n things better left unsaid… so how am i supposed to do?

my difficulties nvr become my pleasure. my hardships nvr get me better. yet im still here, waiting for miracle.

even thousand years after.. if my breathe still in me, i will nvr stop hoping n wishing… for i know, no matter how hard it is, there’ll be a time…for me…

if things are much more easier for me…. i wish…………. ~sigh~

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hmmm it’s been a while since i haven’t spend time in front of d laptop, taking time writing, letting my mind flows while listening to mp3 songs.

what a relief bile dpt tau kptsn interview spp aritu. for month, asyk rs ssh ati je takut x lps. ye laaa…bile diigtkn what happened in dat room..(erkkk..aku mksdkn sesi interview tu ye… ) mmg asyk pk possibility x lulus je. uuuu.. dh lulus ni, Alhamdulillah…

school is doing jz fine.. ckp lg bgnan kt skolah tu, blm de yg roboh..b’tmbh lg de laaa.. ekeke.. ckgu2 lak rmai muka2 baru. ckgu2 yg kamcing2 smua dh kuar…uuuu..krg le bilangan akak2 yg bleh dibawak b’gurau. what a surprise is ckgu2 aku zmn skolah lu rmai yg b’tkr ke c2…maka, mengimbau le kami cite2 lama yg de igt, de x… eheeeee

hmmmmm..bru kul10, dh b’kali2 aku menguap ni. ish3…buku p&p x siap g, sok dh nk kna sbmit. leson plan pe tah lg kn.. ehehe.. ckgu..ckgu.. ish3.. mode cuti pn blm tkr lg…..

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nature seems to live in peace when nothing comes to interrupt. same as how we live our lives. everyday remains as the same day if there is nothing to attend to. the same routine, the same task, the same habit - can we imagine how bored it will be?

so, thank God because we have this one thing called ’surprise’. we never know what is waiting for us on the next few hours. n we never know what will happen to us on the next few decades, isn’t it? how our lives will be as we grow older..? it’s like playing puzzle n guessing games…

try to imagine if everything is already revealed… everybody knows his or her fate. some will say that it will be great, some may be think that life will be more boring n some may be always try to find ways to change their destiny. do we ever think of the consequences? i bet d answer is simple; life will be chaos.

i used to think how bad my life was since there’s so many problems n troubles i hv to face. but as i think back, y should i sighed over it? i should be grateful for all things that had happened in my life. because when the trouble comes, that’s d moment when i reflect everything happened towards my life… i learn a lot from those troubles that had occured.

so…as the wind blows, everything moves. dat’s d moment people will try to find a better shelter to live in so dat they will be secure. as they make d move, they treasure something new. n dat spice up their lives.

no matter how unpredictable life is… but still that what makes this life becomes interesting. lead it until d end n never give up.

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we r going to hv a wedding ceremony jz around d corner.. but surely, it isn’t mine. eheeee.. all d family members r busy preparing for d ‘merisik’ day which will be held on dis 1st may. i’ve been wonder…(nmpk umah cm bersepah je lg.. ahaks!!). n d mjls akad nikah is planned on 6th june. nk pkai baju pe ek nnt?? hehe..  even it is not my event, but kna gak pkai cntik2… wakaka.. all d family mambers especially sblh ayah komen, ‘apsl adik dulu?’ (hmm…dh jodoh adiknye smp dulu.. nk wt lagu mana…)

tp kn… all d preparations sumtime stressed us out. ye la..sorg ckp cmni, yg tu lak, ckp cmtu.. yg ni nk cmni, yg tu nk cmtu.. poning..poning.. lg best, bile x sependapat, perang lak.. aduh.. i hate dis part!

adik aku ni t’lajak rajin dis few days.. cat sana, cat sini.. smua part dia cat.. lg best, dia cat bwh je..part yg tgi2 dia tgl kt aku.. b’tuah… n d best part is, now d house is turned to be as taska.. so colourful.. part sini pink, sana purple, de brown lak, then, hijau..oren… aduhhhh… btl2 cm taska! ble org tegur, dia jwb, ’suka ati ah!!’ so, jz let her be…

bahang tu x terasa sgt cos aku lg takot nk ngadap org utk intrview nnt… after d interview, baru aku strt pk bnda2 len.. huhu… it’s a week left… makin rsau lak.. uuuuu.. (rilek..rilek..)

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being at home is such a great moment. those days when i was away, i missed my home so much. couldn’t escape the feeling of being ‘homesick’. it is so sweet n enjoyable when everybody is helping n understanding each other. but mine isn’t like that. sometimes, the condition stressed me out.

i try to understand n be patient. but there’s a lot of time, i can’t stand the fight, the yell, the quarrell etc….although i supposed to already get used with those stuff…

i dream of a peaceful, loving and understanding family…. perhaps mine is too protective.. perhaps….

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these few days, im totaly exhausted. suddenly, too many works to be settled down. bile free, mmg free sgt2.. smp bleh dok goyang kaki pk nk wtpe.. tp bile bz, nk pndg kiri kanan pn x menyempat. kdg2 tu nk mkn pn xde masa. ptg blk skolah, bru dpt mkn. then, smbg keje blk kt umah. smp ke mlm.. (kalo nk diet ni, sure bleh je… ngeh3) now, i understand y there r teachers yg kejenye asyk ngadap lptop je smbil tgn bz menaip.. mmg byk sgt keje! smp kdg2 tu, dh t’muntah2 dh tgk keje2 yg melambak.. tu blm msk preparation 4 p&p lg. kalo bleh extend 24 jam tu jd lg pjg, sgp je.. rs cm cpt sgt masa b’grk skrg. cm x sdr je dh nk msk bln mei. dh nk tgh thn dh. dulu, nk tgu hbs 3bln prktikal tu cm 3thn.. skrg ni, 3bln tu dh cm 3ari je…

im worried 4 d coming spp interview… totally worried. aku nk, kalo sbut interview je, sure dh gabra.. xyh nk tgu ngadap org yg intrview, dgr prktaan tu je, dh sure ketar lutut. bile bnda tu for fun or sje2.. aku bleh je.. but when it comes to something yg dinilai, aku jd gugup. that’s my big prob! my self-confidence suddenly nth ke mne.. pehhh..cmne ni?

works make me totally breathless… n i wish i can find a time to at least prepare for d interview… hope evrything will b ok… dgr cite mcm2 bout d interview… lg la wt aku takut…

if there is a genie yg mmg dpt makbulkan prmntaan.. aku nk make a wish. i wish i can stop d time. at least enough for me to get a rest n njoy myself.. huhu.. rs cm xde masa nk menikmati masa s’dr lgsg.. uuuu

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